A Free Bottle of Whiskey Cost My Husband Thousands of Dollars

The hidden costs of being in a wedding are outrageous

Kendra Sparkles
5 min readJul 24, 2024
Image of a groom holding two glasses of champagne with the bride standing next to him. Faces not pictured.
Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

It started innocently enough: a small, mysterious box found nestled in the rocking chair on our front porch. Upon inspection and much to my devastation, the box wasn’t addressed to me but to my husband. I breathed down his neck as I awaited the opening of the mystery gift, ready to pounce if it was something worth calling dibs on.

Please be chocolate or diamonds or stacks of hundred-dollar bills. I’ve been so good this week.

Ok, I’ve been good enough.

Fine. I’ve been somewhat tolerable.

A sigh of frustration escaped me as my husband pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a flask.

Booorrrriiiinnnggg, I called in my best foghorn impression before grabbing my daughter’s last Bagel Bite off her Minnie Mouse plate.

“Who’s the booze from?” I yelled over my daughter’s protest as I devoured her pizza-on-a-bagel snack.

“Scott. He wants me to be in his wedding,” my husband replied, admiring his new flask with the word groomsman etched on the front. A bit presumptuous in my opinion.

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